The Night I Remembered You

Despite, the life in me, all this life in me.

I hear the screeching of the raven, on the tenth caw, I turn around and see my girlfriend running. “Where are you going,” I yell.

“I’m leaving you,” she yelled out the door.

“Where are you going?” I yelled a second time.

“I’m going to my girlfriend’s place.”

“Because you’re insolent, lonely, and insufficient.” She said.

“You’re crazy. A little bit.” She said.

“I don’t really want to leave you, but I have too.” She said.

“Then why do you need to?”

“You need to get a grip.” She said.

“Look at this place. It’s disgusting.”

I pointed to the empty underwear on the windowsill. “That’s mine.”

“I’m leaving.” She said.

‘Wow, an empty underwear made this bitch leave. Fine.’ I thought. ‘There are other girls.’

That was a long relationship, though. A relationship that lasted three years.

‘I didn’t know her that well.’ ‘We just slept a lot together a lot.’ I thought.

‘If you put passions into something, it’ll yield.’

I don’t know why I thought of that in that moment.

‘But, it didn’t yield. Nothing ever yielded. It was concrete blocks everywhere.’ I thought. ‘Put my hands on the cold windowsill, and it’ll yield.’

‘My jitters left me.’ I thought. ‘It felt real, All of this.’

‘I should smoke a cigarette.’ I thought.

I looked out the window to the city lights. They were cascading off each other making smoke rings and light dances on the opening of houses and buildings. The night was cool and dry.

‘I wasn’t a real writer,’ I thought, ‘but, I was.’

I wrote every now and then. Out there. She came when it was really bad, and she stayed for a while.

I drank a beer.

It went down cool and neat. My back was against the wall, my white t-shirt scrunched up. I felt the wall and reminded myself where I was at. She just left me.

I realized and let the sharp pang settle in my heart. ‘It’s okay,’ I thought. ‘There are others.’

I looked around the room for the picture of my brother and smiled, the first one in a long time.